Enter The Lair

killthepassion @ 2005-09-24T12:20:00

2005-09-24T11:21:22Z

JOE GETS OUT OF HOSPITAL TOMORROW! :D :D :D :D :D

killthepassion @ 2005-09-23T19:39:00

2005-09-23T18:55:49Z

So I just came back from the hospital. Joe's looking better every day. He even managed a bit of chocolate, hehe. I miss him like hell, though, it's only been a month or so since we moved in together but I'm so used to sleeping next to him that sleeping not next to him is difficult. :( But nevermind.

College sucked today. Nothing was interesting, everything was completely and utterly nondescript, a couple of chavs from - would you believe it? - year fucking 10 were shouting 'faggot' and 'gypsy queer' at me. I swore at them a bit and Melly from Drama yelled back at them to 'leave Kill the fuck alone and grow some hair on your bollocks, you nasty little bastards'. Which cheered me up no end. :) Melly's a real live wire (not to mention very scary). She's just one of those people you don't fucking mess with. If anyone else wore a 'Dykes on Bikes' jacket to college they'd probably get stoned to death, but if anyone tried anything on her they would probably end up deaded. Hehe.

So that small part was a good point. But the year tens themselves - that pissed me off. Everyone else knows me around college and I get on with *almost* everyone with the exception of a few - namely chavs and some of the teaching staff, though it pains me to say it - but the year tens are shits.

Fucking little bastards. If they give me any more shit I'll beat seven bells out of them. I've had much worse shit than this before from much older people than them and gotten through it, so nasty little kids aren't going to upset me. However, they ARE going to piss me off royally. Grrr. >:(

Takes me back, though. I remember a couple of years ago when I got the shit kicked out of me verbally on a daily basis (and that one time when I actually did physically get the shit kicked out of me). Things have moved on quite a bit since. That makes me glad. :)

I miss J. :(

killthepassion @ 2005-09-20T16:51:00

2005-09-20T16:10:39Z

Hello everyone. Long time no type. Joe has been very ill. He has somehow managed to catch pneumonia and has spent the past week laid up in hospital. But never fear! He looks dreadful, but he's absolutely fine. The doctors say he is through the worst of it now and should be out in about another week or so, possibly less. *crosses fingers* I've been to see him every day since he got in. I'm just about to take the car (I don't have my licence yet, but ssssh) and go see him. It's a bit scary seeing someone you love in a hospital bed, let alone on a respirator. He's off that now fortunately, and talking - albeit somewhat feverishly, bless him; he's extremely pissed off about not being able to play his guitar. That just proves he's alright. ;)

I hate having to go to school and work while he's ill like this. I skipped school the first couple of days and the ever-wonderful Greg gave me leave from work for the first half of last week. I was sorely tempted to call my own sickie after that so I could go and be with Joe, but he told me off for thinking it and made me go back to school. (Yeah, I was forced to work by an invalid. Hey, I'm weak, I know it. ^__~)

Well. It's been quite a stressful week, to be honest. Poor Joe. :( I'm really glad he's okay, though. I was so worried about him. Just one question, however -

HOW THE HELL DO YOU MANAGE TO CATCH PNEUMONIA IN AUGUST?!?! :O

Okay, that's it from me. Off to go see the lovely in a bit. I got him fresh flowers. :)

killthepassion @ 2005-08-28T19:48:00

2005-08-28T18:49:14Z

I looooooove Rammstein.

*does a mini-mosh-thingy*

MAN I NEED THOSE N.R'S!

killthepassion @ 2005-08-28T19:27:00

2005-08-28T18:40:18Z

The Random Question Meme!

An array of completely random questions about my friends!

Is wankeriffic best described as a badger, a mushroom, or a snake?: BADGER! He does, after all, have a tiny one living on the end of his chin. :)~
Shouldn't xxxannabelxxx be getting more sleep?: I'm sure she should. *winkwinknudge*
Have you ever suspected fairyincognito of being a lifelike robot?: O__O Erm, no. But maybe I should...*shifty eyes of suspicion*
Where did moonlitglow leave the remote?: If I knew that, i wouldn't have to get up off my ass every single time I wanted to change channel YOU BITCH OF A QUESTIONNAIRE YOU.
Could you take sangro_contigo in a fight?: I'd be so creamed. ^__^
Why shouldn't your_sex_pixie and prettyinvelvet be a couple?: BECAUSE HE IS MINE GODAMMIT!!!!

...ahem. ^^

What is xxxannabelxxx's favorite book?: ~~the Kama Sutra~~ I'm just kidding, I don't actually know. ;)
How would moonlitglow survive on a desert island?: By lashing together a couple of turtles (with HUMAN HAIR) and making a raft to swim to shore....
What would your life be like if you had never met your_sex_pixie?: Considerably different, in the worst possible way. For example, my family and I would still be living in Ireland. I would have no knowledge of love. I would still live with my parents.
Bloody awful, I'd say. :) Good job, right? <3
What is wankeriffic's sexiest feature?: His toes. *g*
How will prettyinvelvet die?: She won't. She will live forever due to acts of darkest evil. *dun dun DUN*
What historical figure does sangro_contigo most remind you of?: CAPTAIN HOOK!

(eh?)
Could you take fairyincognito in a fight?: Again...so creamed. ^__^

Why is fairyincognito sneaking up behind you right now?: *screams like a little girl*

...oh.
What is your_sex_pixie's favorite movie?: EASY! ^_^ A Clockwork Orange, of course.
Doesn't sangro_contigo have anything better to do?: Don't we all?
Can moonlitglow become invisible at will?: Apparently I can do that too! :D
How would wankeriffic survive on a desert island?: By smoking everything in sight.
What is prettyinvelvet's favorite band?: Ummmm....NIN?
What animal does xxxannabelxxx most remind you of?: whaaaa.

This is by heptadecagram. You can find your own completely random questions here.

Do you feel enlightened now?

well that was fun. ^^

Taggéd by prettyinvelvet

2005-08-28T15:41:36Z

Seven Songs Meme:
#1) Ava Adore (Smashing Pumpkins)
#2) Iconika (Feverf*ck - heads up Reggiebabe! ^__^)
#3) The Optimist (Desperate .99)
#4) Ravenous (Arch Enemy)
#5) Tornado of Souls (Megadeth)
#6) Passive (A Perfect Circle)
#7) Either Aqueous Transmission or I Miss You (both Incubus)

I tag: your_sex_pixie, wankeriffic and sangro_contigo. :D (I only have five friends, hehe, and two of 'em have done it already.)

Anywaysh. I am new jobbing tomorrow afternoon á la Void Clothing. ^^ I heart that shop. Deano gave me the Staff Discount card :D so I may be buying some good new New Rocks as my old 'uns got stolen last year. :( Shame, that, I loved those boots. Anyway, that's a cool thing.

Things be going well indeed. :) This living-without-parents-and-with-Joe thing is tres cool. :)

<3 you all and goodnight.

killthepassion @ 2005-08-25T18:24:00

2005-08-25T17:40:32Z

And I now have a looovely new job at Void Clothing. ^^ It's my favourite shop as well. Yay for staff discount.

It is part-time, so starting this coming Monday I will be working after college on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays from about 4.30-7.30, and I will be working 12-6 on Saturdays. :) Parfait, no?

Anyway. Today has been enjoyable. Joe's lil sister came round (yay Joolsie!) with her friend Carlie, who I haven't met before but seemed like a sweetie plus she had nice hair so I gave her a hug anyway. (Hope I didn't scare my little sister-in-law's best friend too much, eh? ^__~)
Anyway, that was fun, they had lunch with us on the 'picnic rug' (a.k.a an old blanket) and then, out of the blue, Reg showed up. (You're a fucking 'tard, man. :p) Then we all went out into town for a wee bit to do some shopping. Not that we needed to or could really afford to or anything. Hehe. But nev'mind, eh. It was a nice day - apart from when it was pissing it down. T__T

Anyway. Reg left a couple of hours ago but the girls are staying for dinner. Everyone is in front of the TV now watching some film...ooooooo! SPINAL TAP!

*headbangs for a bit then leaves*

killthepassion @ 2005-08-23T12:11:00

2005-08-23T11:13:48Z

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.

OH MY GOD.

I PASSED MY A-LEVELS. OMG.

AAAAAH.

I got a B in Drama, an A in Psych, and, GET THIS, AN A-STAR IN BOTH MUSIC AND ART. OMG. I GOT TWO FUCKING A*S! I'm not surprised by the B, but it's still a really good pass mark, so I AM HAPPY.

OH YES.

OHMYGOD. *hyperventilation*

killthepassion @ 2005-08-22T14:50:00

2005-08-22T14:19:56Z

Oh maaaaan, I LOVE THIS PLACE, yes I do...aha. *childish glee*

Joe is asleep on THE NEW SOFA (yesterday exhausted him, I mean cooking an elaborate ['kay, easy but time-consuming] meal for eight people, damn, I can't even cook for one) but I am as awake as a very awake thing. ^^

Anyway. What's been done today? ...not very much. Sofa got dropped off at about 11 but that's it. May or may not invite wankeriffic, Dames, Lily and co. around in the evening, because they haven't seen the place yet. But so far I've been doing very little.

Except, yeah, the good stuff, and yeah, I did contribute to J's current state of physical fatigue a little, a little. ;)

Mostly for furniture and shizzle we are lal sorted (there was a problem yesterday, in that we don't actually have a table) but hell at least now we have a TV. :D It only has terrestrial, but we have channel four, which means we can still watch OMG Lost on Four. :) I love that show.

Ah goddammit I am getting hungry. And all I can cook is toast. (It usually burns.) :) Ah well. I'll wake Joe up in a bit if he's still sleeping and we'll probably call for pizza or something, it's not fair to make him cook again.

I am thinking of getting a job....at the piercing place....:D I asked Sera the manageress (who has the most awesomely green and part-shaven hair evah omgyay) if they had any need for a part-time worker in the downstairs shop. And in the meantime I will see if she will let me sit in on some people getting pierced, and show me how to do it myself. :D So yeah, I might fill out an application. I feel bad because Joe's working at Rockaboom even though he's going to uni, even though I'm just going back to school ('tis my last year of sixth form, though) and I've not even got a job. But that will change.

Speaking of college, I don't want to go back. Ah well. Just one more year, four more major exams. Then that's it and I am in uni as well. I already applied for Notts, but I applied for Loughbourough as well just in case I don't make it. Eeep, what a thought. L.U. looks pretty cool as well, but I have checked out the Notts courses and they are AWESOME, I promise you.

Oooh, speaking of A-Levels, the results come out *tomorrow*. Eeep, eh? O__O Wish me luck.

omigodmonfire :O

2005-08-14T20:25:17Z

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS IN LIEK OMG FOREVER!!!111one!!1!1!eleven!!!1

*cough* Ahem. Anywayseses.

Whee, me and Joe went to Ireland, to the little cottagey thingy his mother ownses. ^^ It was very cool. Mucho fun. <3

AND GUESS WHAT, we have a flat. ^^ It's awesome. I love it. I can't wait to move in (THIS FRIDAY, people, THIS FRIGGING FRIDAY HAHA).

Woooooooo. Sorry, hyperactive. It's been a busy summer. We have to go back in two weeks. :( I can't believe it's my last year at school, then next year I'm going up to uni as well. I'm just doing my last year of sixth form, carrying on with Music, Drama, Psych and Art (yes, I'm a cliched panysboy drama nerd...AND I once played OMGKINGLEAR!! :O ) A level and then going on to do possibly Music, Art, Psychology and Literature degrees. WOO. (Yeah, I know it's almost two years until I go to uni but I already looked at the prospectus.) Joe is going to uni this year, he is le nervous. Aww. :)

Gack. So hyper. Today was spent drinking those ridiculously coloured drinks (Panda Pops, I think?) and we mixed them together to create amazing colours of amazement. We mixed pink (Red Jelly And Ice Cream) with blue (Blue Raspberryade) to make purple (Purple Jellycreamberryade) and also red (Cherry) with green (Lime) to make...uh...piss yellow, actually. Luvverly. But it tasted gooood. The E-numbers....the high sugar content....mmmmgyaaaaah....*sugargasms and falls into a diabetic coma*

EDIT: Eh? It's not two years until uni. It's one. O__o What's up with me?

killthepassion @ 2005-05-23T19:32:00

2005-05-23T18:35:18Z

Whatuuuuuuup, me journal. ;)

Not much going on atm.....making plans for the summer, though. We may be going to America - that's me, Joe, Lily and maybe Reg - with Dames to see his uncle, who lives on a ranch in Montana. *squee*

:D :D :D :D

Happy happy.

I relaly don't have a lot else to say. Except I really FUCKING HATE SCHOOL ARG.

Sick Ickle Joey

2005-03-22T21:58:16Z

My luffer is Teh Sick, so I am looking after him. *pets* He's gone back to bed, bless him. :)

I'm staying over at the Joe's house this week, since his family are gone. Eeee. ^___^ Lots of alone time with my prettiness...even if he does seem to be horrendously sick atm. *pets again* We've been partying a good bit this week, what with all the absences of parental units around.

Cannot WAIT until the end of this school year when WE'RE MOVING OUUUUT. W00TYAY!

We're not just gonna be lovers...we're gonna be ROOOOMIEEEEES. *squee* Let's just hope the walls are thick....we wouldn't want to keep any other already insomniac students from their sleep now would we Joelove. *wicked*

OOooooo. Darie and Mitch rang me a while ago....just checking that I was okay....Darie was making jokes about already practically living together. omg she's such a sweetheart. My lovely sister. And my pisshead of a little brother, too. But he's piddling awesome as well. Mother-Dear says hello also, but she's appparently passed out on the sofa (been working too hard again).

Oh, and Joe adds (from his Bed of Pain): "Your damn mother better not have the same damn thing as me because DAMMIT IT SUCKS!"

Awww. Well, I'm gonna turn in now. Let's turn this Bed of Pain into a Bed of Warmth and Comfort and <3, shall we? :) I shall be keeping Joey warm again as I did last night, 'cause he gets cold and shivery in his sickness. He warns me to stay away from him but I absolutely refuse! *defiance* What are you gonna do, Sickie, cough at me?!

....apparently yes. Whoopsie. Poor baby. :< I will be right with you, my lovely.

killthepassion @ 2005-02-28T20:55:00

2005-02-28T20:56:04Z

FIRST FIC ON EL-JAY!

The Strongest Human Scent (R). Yayness.

killthepassion @ 2005-02-22T18:39:00

2005-02-22T18:54:57Z

OH MY FUCKING GOD. OH MY FUCKING GOD. YOU ARE JUST THE INCREDIBLE-EST. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!

:D

I can't believe this. It's amazing. Joe is amazing. WE'RE GOING TO LIVE TOGETHER. :D At the end of this year, I'll be eighteen, so I can legally leave home. w00t!!! I am *so* psyched about this. It's going to be so incredible. I can't wait for the end of this year. OMG.

Joe asked me this morning, whilst giving me a ride (hehehe....no, no that sort of ride) to school in his smexy, shiny new CAR!! He had to pull over because I started crying (as I do) and hugging him, and if he hadn't stopped we would've crashed cause I was hugging him so hard.

OMFG.

So happy. So, so, so happy. Thankyou my darling. <33333 It's going to be amazing.

killthepassion @ 2005-02-20T21:30:00

2005-02-20T21:36:11Z

I haven't updated this for fucking ages. I only am today cause Joe poked me and told me to. Hehe.

Well, what to say? Apart from, I am still alive and I'm okay. Well...becoming okay, anyway. :) Joe has helpe,d naturally. *hugs* Luffs choo SO MUCH baybee.

Argh. Okay. It's time to go, I'm turning into a thirteen-year-old schoolgirl with a mad crush.

killthepassion @ 2005-01-05T21:32:00

2005-01-05T21:40:50Z

I've never been particularly religious, but please, God, Goddess, Allah, Zeus, Buddha, anyone who'll listen. Please don't let Kabie die. Please.

Kabie was taken to hospital this morning after she collapsed and started fitting. They scanned her brain and she has a tumour. A tumour. It's been in there, in her, for about a month, they think. It's large and they can't operate on it. At the rate it's growing, they don't think she'll have long at all. Maybe a month, two months, but no more. Maybe even less.

Please, whoever you are, please don't take her from us like this. She doesn't deserve this. No one deserves it, but if anyone deserves to live it's Kabie. She's such a kind and wonderful person, strong and bright and funny and warm. She's helped me through so much.

If you're reading this, please please please spare a thought for Kabie. Whether it's a minute or even just a few seconds, please just take a little time for her. I feel sorry for everyone who doesn't know her. You don't know what you're missing. And now you may never get the chance to find out.

killthepassion @ 2004-12-29T20:48:00

2004-12-29T20:58:06Z

Thank fuck! The police have found my little bro! The stupid fucking little bastard was asleep in a dumpster. I shook him when i saw him, I was angry and happy and sobbing all at the same time. I was all like, "How could you do this, you stupid fuck? Have you any idea what everyone's been going through? Fucking arsehole! Oh but Iloveyousomuch....*hugs*"

He's okay. Just tired and upset that he scared us, really. He says he wanted to come home and he didn't want to worry anyone, but he just felt like he couldn't face us. I think a lot of rage and hurt has been building up inside him for a long time now. Poor baby Mitchie. Argh, I'm so angry at him as well! It's so confusing, because I'm angry that he ran away, but I'm so, *so* fucking happy he's safe. Oh God, it's been such a fucked up couple of days. We've been staying at Joe's since Mitchie ran away. He and his family have been so good to us. I love you, Joe. You're such a good, beautiful person.

MY BROTHER IS A RETARD! Oh my God, argh.

*exhausted*

I'm so glad they found him. Believe me, words can't express what we're all feeling at the moment. I've never been so scared in all my life. I had a dream yesterday that we found him all mangled and bloody and broken by the roadside...woke up screaming, Joe thought I was being murdered! He let me sleep in his bed with him, though, so that made me feel a bit better.

Okay, I'm off to have a bit of a sniffle on Joe's shoulder. And a BIG HUG from my stupid fucker of a brother. :)

fuck, fuck, fuck.

2004-12-26T22:59:06Z

My brother is missing.

He went missing about half six, when our Boxing Day dinner with my aunt Katy and my grandmother culminated in a screaming match. My grandmother started on Katy because she married an asshole, apparently, but who gives a shit. It ended with a fight, and now Mitch is gone.

We've been looking for him non-stop. We have phoned the police. Now we (Mum, Darie and me) are round Joe's. He's looking after me.

Okay, Ihave to go. We're going looking again.

Please pray he's not hurt. Please.

wow.

2004-12-14T18:34:28Z

Today has been another fucking interesting day. In a better way this time.

I have.....*drumroll*....a boyfriend. <333 I love you Joe.

In other news (now that the biggest/best/most important is over), I've had a stupid week. Remember Daddy? Well, he left this morning (there is a god), but not before having a huge shouting match with my mother (who got back from grandma's yesterday night), and then another one with me. I don't know why he was yelling at Mother. I think she dropped a plate or something and broke it. He got mad about that, even though it's not his house and they're not his plates. So Mother was crying and being yelled at, Mitchie had left for school early because he couldn't take it, Darie was in her room (crying - who can blame her?), and I was having to sit there and watch my 'parents' fight. Just like fucking old times.

But I've definitely changed since then. It's been a long time - what is it, three, four years since he left? - and I'm not prepared to just sit there and watch him reduce my mother to a whimpering puddle again. So I got really pissed off, stood up and yelled at him to shut up. I said it wasn't his house, that she wasn't his wife anymore, and that he had no right to behave like that towards her. He told me to 'shut up, fag' and carried on fighting with/yelling at my mother. And that was the last straw. If I wasn't so short I would probably have hit him, but as it was I just told him what I thought of him: that he was a disgusting, drunken, ignorant, homophobic arsehole who couldn't even treat his own sons and daughter with any form of tolerance or compassion, and no wonder he can't hold down a job or a woman. We started yelling at each other, and eventually he left - after chucking a few plates on the floor and threatening to 'gouge me a new one unless I shut my faggot mouth'.

And that was that.

Once Mother had calmed down a bit, she asked me what had been going on while she was in London, and I told her all about what my father had been saying and doing. I asked her, please please please not to inflict him on us ever again, and she agreed. So, I don't think I'll be seeing my da again. He's gone back up to Glasgow to stay with his current girlfriend and her fifteen illegitimate children, or however many she's got. So, despite all the rowing and the yelling and the horrible miserable week we spent with him, it was worth it, because he's out of all our lives now for good. Mother promised. And despite how much of a mess she is sometimes, I know my mum wouldn't ever break a promise to us. She actually loves us, unlike Da.

So, yeah. w00t. and all that. You may think it weird that I'm in such a good mood now, after having such a nasty stressful start to the day, but it's actually been a very, very good day. What with Joe and everything. ::blush:: And no more Da. *YES!*

See you later. I'm off to watch a film with Darie and Mitchie. Mother's out for the night and I'm in charge, so basically that means a good time. I rented a few films for us to watch, and I'm going to call for pizza in about ten minutes. Ciaou!

omg....>,<....i'm going to die....

2004-12-12T21:06:12Z

So, it's been...weird. I slept around Joe's house last night, and...well. Ummm. Errrr. Some stuff happened that maybe shouldn't have happened. Well. We didn't....you know....but we did....you know. Well, of course you don't, but suffice to say that it was weird and probably a large mistake. Laaaaarge. And I wasn't even drunk or anything, we'd just had a really good time so I guess it seemed like the right thing to do. And now I'm pretty positive it wasn't, because when I left Joe was kind of weird with me. Uncomfortable, like. And I really hope that what I - well, we, because it wasn't just my fault - did hasn't totally ruined everything.

Maybe I shouldn't be telling my online journal this. but what the fuck, Joe, I can't say it to your face. You know the poem I wrote about the dream I had? Well, that was for you. And I wasn't just messing around when we flirted before. Maybe you were, but I wasn't. I'd like to say something else, but I'm not in that much of a hurry to get my heart ripped out. I'll skip the three little words part, because I think that bit's a little obvious. You know what I mean, I'm sure you do.

So, er...yeah. ::cough::

...What a totally fucking weird day.

daddy dearest

2004-12-06T22:07:30Z

Guess what. my dad's back in town. Mum's gone to London to be with my grandma, cause she's ill. And dad's come over to look after Mitch and Darie. Unfortunately, I'm lumped with him too.

Luckily, he's downstairs right now. If he wasn't, I wouldn't be writing this. I'd be barricaded in my room, playing some very loud music. Either that or I'd have been caught, rabbit-in-the-headlights, standing in front of him eyes-to-shoes while he spouted off at me. He loves my sister and my brother, but he hates me because I'm a fag. :( He actually calls me that. He never calls me Kill. Not even Killian. It's either 'faggot' or 'queerboy'. He's my fucking father, for godsakes. You'd think he'd have a bit of tolerance for his own fucking son. But no, NO, never, because if he was the slightest bit nice to me, that would somehow tarnish his masculinity, and maybe that would make him a FAG as well. So he has to keep calling me names and I have to keep putting up with it. All I can say is thank fucking gods he doesn't live with us anymore. I'd kill myself if he did. I'm not joking.

Well, at least it's only for a week. And lovely precious fucking LIFE-saving Joe said I could stay at his place if Dad gets too unbearable. <333 thankyou so, so much. i love you. i love that you're so lovely to me. thankyou for putting up with me all the time. you're so special.

okay. i'm crying. shitshitshit. i have to get tissues. then i'm going to bed. i can't face staying awake at the moment, i have to sleep.

bye xxxx

Booze-addled dreams and spur-of-the-moment (bullshit? hope not) poetry...

2004-12-04T15:49:57Z

Okay, I'm back. Grr! at Mother. (because she's mean :p and won't let me have Broadband). Anyway, last night I went out, got a little bit drunk (not not that much) and generally had a pretty awesome and above-all *coherent* time. Yay. Also, I was treated to something very lovely when I went to bed. And no, it's not what you think. It wasn't *that* lovely. ;) Though it did come a close second.

This is a really weird dream I had. It was a really beautiful, vivid dream. I didn't want to wake up from it. But it really touched me, and I decided to write about it. I'm sorry if it's bollocks. The title is bllshit, I know, and I also know the rhyming and lining is erratic at best, but it's supposed to be slightly abstract because that's what the dream was like, and it was also a very spur of the moment-type thing.

Dream Diary

Like a statue, he stands before me

Paralysed, transfixed, trembling with

What might be lust, but could just be cold or care.

Lips swollen, bruised and bleeding

The whisper of his breathing, hot in the winter air

Tickling my face.

His own face

- Pale as a ghost's, but for the bitten-red slash of lips

And the wide, clear eyes that seem to have no defined colour

(Blue? Grey? Green?

They change from ocean to sky to ice, it seems

Their pupils always dilated, pure ink)

And the desire (?) flushed cheeks, snow stained with pink -

- Hovers centimetres from mine

So close, it seems I could count every lustrous, dark eyelash.

There is one on his cheek.

I reach up with an unshy hand

Brush it off, blow it off my finger

Make a wish.

This being a dream,

My impossible wish, imploration to the skies,

Comes true.

He closes his unfathomable eyes,

And lets his mouth brush mine, our tongues dancing

The uncomplicated dance; breath-hot, sugar-sweet and slow....

There is the mutual knowledge that this must end

Though soon, not eventually; But I know

That I will carry this away from sleep

And I will not forget

And I will not weep.

The kiss is broken

It fades away

Like a daydream on a summer's day,

Rudely interrupted by the trials of life.

He vanishes, too,

And if he were a magic of my own imagination,

A simple dream,

A fabrication -

I would forget his face.

But I know I never will, because he is a beautiful product

Of this concious world -

Not merely an untouchable creature of fae,

Here in the moonlight but gone by the day...

Comments would be much, much MUCH appreciated. I might find a nice poetry community and xpost it there, too.

My toes are cold! Maybe because my socks have holes in. *frown*

Just got phoned by Joe...we're having a cookout of sorts tonight in his FECKING HUGE back garden. Kabie, Tim, Damien and a load of other people are coming. Joe's dad has this awesomely huge tent thingy (bigger than the one we took to Devvo), and we're going to light a fire and eat sausages and drink lots of alcohol and sleep over int he tent and just generally have an awesome time. It *will* be awesome, but, Joe, seriousy, couldn't you have picked a better time to organise an *outdoor camping extravaganza* than early December?! I mean, we might get attacked by rabid polar bears or sommit. Well, we won't, because this is after all English Suburbia, but it *is* going to be freezing. I will have to wear more than one layer. *gripe* Hmm. What to wear? Baggy jeans to keep the old legs from falling off, I think, also about three of my really gay vest-thingies and me old Molko shirt over the top. And possibly one of my younger bro's hoodies. It is NOT O.K. that he is three whole years younger than me and yet almost as tall. You hear me, Mitchie?! IT'S NOT O.K.! *coughcough*wanker*cough*

Anyway. I'm going to go and get my stuff together, and get ready to freeze my balls off out there. Just hope it doesn't rain! :p

kissesandbites xxxx

greetings earthmen/earthladies/earthladyboys ^__~

2004-12-04T14:48:39Z

Darlingest Journal, I apologize profusely for the neglectful way in which I have treated thee. I, Killian, fairyboy, suppressed bitch, Goddess of Sarcasm, and eater of many chips, hereby promise that I will attempt to make more entries in thee in future. Indeed, possibly even more than once every moonturn; and I verily make good my offer of GIVING THY ASS A MAKEOVER!!

Yeah, so, like, I'm feeling le poetique today. No, that isn't actual French, just my rather sad, hungover-y attempt at French. Normally, when I haven't drank a succession of...let's call them 'strong beverages'...the night before. *g* Funnily enough, I don't actually have a hangover, as such. Just the strange feeling that I may have assassinated a few million more brain cells.

Mum needs the phone...*sigh*....back in a mo...

...

2004-10-03T20:06:07Z

(~/killian/~): greetings joebaby

JOETHEBEE!: greetings earthman

(~/killian/~): how be you?

JOETHEBEE!: PH33Rfull....>,>

(~/killian/~): meh? O_o

JOETHEBEE!: i found a spoon! ^_^

(~/killian/~): that's nice dear...

JOETHEBEE!: are you mocking me?

(~/killian/~): erm. no?

JOETHEBEE!: you are aren't you.

(~/killian/~): ....yes.

(~/killian/~): sorry.

JOETHEBEE! cwies.

(~/killian/~): aw! don't cwy baybee...*sings a happy little song to cheer you up*

JOETHEBEE!: T_T

JOETHEBEE!: i want to kill myself when you do that.

(~/killian/~): *deflates* sobbity. bitch.

JOETHEBEE!: o.o

JOETHEBEE!: *bursts out cwying*

(~/killian/~): O_O

(~/killian/~): ....curses. *pets, awkwardly*

JOETHEBEE!: ::purr:: *arches back* meeow.

bwahahahahaaa <3333

T___T

2004-09-21T21:15:17Z

School is so depressing. So very, very depressing.

I have been very very busy with coursework and shit lately so I haven't posted here in ages.

My new form tutor's name is Ms Haveley. I HATE HER. >:O

I was wearing eyeliner today, like I usually do. I have never got any comments from teachers about it before, because our school has no dress code or whatever, but today at registration, she looked at me and she went,
"Killian, why are you wearing makeup when you are a boy? It makes you look...strange."
And the way she lifted her eyebrows...I know what she meant by strange. I *know* what she meant. She keeps making these nasty little digs at me. She does it to everyone, but it seems to be mainly focused on me and this other guy called Ross, for some reason.
GRRRR.

Anyways. Hello, Joe, I know I haven't seen you much lately but I promise you that tomorrow I will HUNT YOOOOU DOOOOWN.

I'm starting to get back into the school routine now. Always takes me a long while. But ah well.

This means I will start updating again.

Plus, I am writing something. I shall post it. Sooooon.