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May. 23rd, 2005 @ 07:32 pm (no subject)
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shoebox_love, enormous kind of poofter, sbp
Current Mood: excitedexcited
Whatuuuuuuup, me journal. ;)

Not much going on atm.....making plans for the summer, though. We may be going to America - that's me, Joe, Lily and maybe Reg - with Dames to see his uncle, who lives on a ranch in Montana. *squee*

:D :D :D :D

Happy happy.

I relaly don't have a lot else to say. Except I really FUCKING HATE SCHOOL ARG.
Mar. 22nd, 2005 @ 09:45 pm Sick Ickle Joey
About this Entry
shoebox_love, enormous kind of poofter, sbp
Current Mood: contentloving
Current Music: Space Oddity.....wheeeeeeeeeeee......
My luffer is Teh Sick, so I am looking after him. *pets* He's gone back to bed, bless him. :)

I'm staying over at the Joe's house this week, since his family are gone. Eeee. ^___^ Lots of alone time with my prettiness...even if he does seem to be horrendously sick atm. *pets again* We've been partying a good bit this week, what with all the absences of parental units around.

Cannot WAIT until the end of this school year when WE'RE MOVING OUUUUT. W00TYAY!

We're not just gonna be lovers...we're gonna be ROOOOMIEEEEES. *squee* Let's just hope the walls are thick....we wouldn't want to keep any other already insomniac students from their sleep now would we Joelove. *wicked*

OOooooo. Darie and Mitch rang me a while ago....just checking that I was okay....Darie was making jokes about already practically living together. omg she's such a sweetheart. My lovely sister. And my pisshead of a little brother, too. But he's piddling awesome as well. Mother-Dear says hello also, but she's appparently passed out on the sofa (been working too hard again).

Oh, and Joe adds (from his Bed of Pain): "Your damn mother better not have the same damn thing as me because DAMMIT IT SUCKS!"

Awww. Well, I'm gonna turn in now. Let's turn this Bed of Pain into a Bed of Warmth and Comfort and <3, shall we? :) I shall be keeping Joey warm again as I did last night, 'cause he gets cold and shivery in his sickness. He warns me to stay away from him but I absolutely refuse! *defiance* What are you gonna do, Sickie, cough at me?!


....apparently yes. Whoopsie. Poor baby. :< I will be right with you, my lovely.
Feb. 28th, 2005 @ 08:55 pm (no subject)
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shoebox_love, enormous kind of poofter, sbp
FIRST FIC ON EL-JAY!

The Strongest Human Scent (R). Yayness.
Feb. 22nd, 2005 @ 06:39 pm (no subject)
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shoebox_love, enormous kind of poofter, sbp
Current Mood: bouncyOMFG AMAZINGLY AMAZING!
OH MY FUCKING GOD. OH MY FUCKING GOD. YOU ARE JUST THE INCREDIBLE-EST. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!



:D


I can't believe this. It's amazing. Joe is amazing. WE'RE GOING TO LIVE TOGETHER. :D At the end of this year, I'll be eighteen, so I can legally leave home. w00t!!! I am *so* psyched about this. It's going to be so incredible. I can't wait for the end of this year. OMG.

Joe asked me this morning, whilst giving me a ride (hehehe....no, no that sort of ride) to school in his smexy, shiny new CAR!! He had to pull over because I started crying (as I do) and hugging him, and if he hadn't stopped we would've crashed cause I was hugging him so hard.

OMFG.

So happy. So, so, so happy. Thankyou my darling. <33333 It's going to be amazing.
Feb. 20th, 2005 @ 09:30 pm (no subject)
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shoebox_love, enormous kind of poofter, sbp
I haven't updated this for fucking ages. I only am today cause Joe poked me and told me to. Hehe.

Well, what to say? Apart from, I am still alive and I'm okay. Well...becoming okay, anyway. :) Joe has helpe,d naturally. *hugs* Luffs choo SO MUCH baybee.


Argh. Okay. It's time to go, I'm turning into a thirteen-year-old schoolgirl with a mad crush.
Jan. 9th, 2005 @ 06:32 pm (no subject)
About this Entry
shoebox_love, enormous kind of poofter, sbp
Kabie passed away yesterday at 11:56PM. I can't believe she is gone. We're never going to see her again.

Kabie was one of the kindest, loveliest people I have ever known. She has helped me through the worst times in my life. When I was struggling to accept my sexuality, Kabie was there to help me come to terms. When I couldn't find the courage to tell my parents I was gay, Kabie was there encouraging me to do it. When I decided to come out to my friends and family, Kabie was standing beside me with her hand on my shoulder as I did it. She got me through a time when I was severely depressed, and helped me find the will to live. She stopped me and yelled at me when I was going to slash my wrists, and afterwards she held me and cried with me and told me it was going to be okay.

Kabie has done so much for me. She was my best friend, my confidante, my shoulder to cry on, and my sister-in-spirit. Without her I would not be here today.

We will always love you, Kabie. Wherever you are now, wherever you're going, may you be happy forever. I'm not religious in any way, but if there is such a thing as an angel, I am certain that the invisible wings that buoyed you up in your life have become real. May they carry you forever higher and higher. You're free now.
Jan. 5th, 2005 @ 09:32 pm (no subject)
About this Entry
shoebox_love, enormous kind of poofter, sbp
Current Mood: tearful
I've never been particularly religious, but please, God, Goddess, Allah, Zeus, Buddha, anyone who'll listen. Please don't let Kabie die. Please.

Kabie was taken to hospital this morning after she collapsed and started fitting. They scanned her brain and she has a tumour. A tumour. It's been in there, in her, for about a month, they think. It's large and they can't operate on it. At the rate it's growing, they don't think she'll have long at all. Maybe a month, two months, but no more. Maybe even less.

Please, whoever you are, please don't take her from us like this. She doesn't deserve this. No one deserves it, but if anyone deserves to live it's Kabie. She's such a kind and wonderful person, strong and bright and funny and warm. She's helped me through so much.

If you're reading this, please please please spare a thought for Kabie. Whether it's a minute or even just a few seconds, please just take a little time for her. I feel sorry for everyone who doesn't know her. You don't know what you're missing. And now you may never get the chance to find out.
Dec. 29th, 2004 @ 08:48 pm (no subject)
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shoebox_love, enormous kind of poofter, sbp
Current Mood: tearful but happy
Thank fuck! The police have found my little bro! The stupid fucking little bastard was asleep in a dumpster. I shook him when i saw him, I was angry and happy and sobbing all at the same time. I was all like, "How could you do this, you stupid fuck? Have you any idea what everyone's been going through? Fucking arsehole! Oh but Iloveyousomuch....*hugs*"

He's okay. Just tired and upset that he scared us, really. He says he wanted to come home and he didn't want to worry anyone, but he just felt like he couldn't face us. I think a lot of rage and hurt has been building up inside him for a long time now. Poor baby Mitchie. Argh, I'm so angry at him as well! It's so confusing, because I'm angry that he ran away, but I'm so, *so* fucking happy he's safe. Oh God, it's been such a fucked up couple of days. We've been staying at Joe's since Mitchie ran away. He and his family have been so good to us. I love you, Joe. You're such a good, beautiful person.

MY BROTHER IS A RETARD! Oh my God, argh.

*exhausted*

I'm so glad they found him. Believe me, words can't express what we're all feeling at the moment. I've never been so scared in all my life. I had a dream yesterday that we found him all mangled and bloody and broken by the roadside...woke up screaming, Joe thought I was being murdered! He let me sleep in his bed with him, though, so that made me feel a bit better.

Okay, I'm off to have a bit of a sniffle on Joe's shoulder. And a BIG HUG from my stupid fucker of a brother. :)
Dec. 26th, 2004 @ 10:54 pm fuck, fuck, fuck.
About this Entry
shoebox_love, enormous kind of poofter, sbp
Current Mood: distraught
My brother is missing.



He went missing about half six, when our Boxing Day dinner with my aunt Katy and my grandmother culminated in a screaming match. My grandmother started on Katy because she married an asshole, apparently, but who gives a shit. It ended with a fight, and now Mitch is gone.

We've been looking for him non-stop. We have phoned the police. Now we (Mum, Darie and me) are round Joe's. He's looking after me.

Okay, Ihave to go. We're going looking again.

Please pray he's not hurt. Please.
Dec. 14th, 2004 @ 06:06 pm wow.
About this Entry
shoebox_love, enormous kind of poofter, sbp
Current Mood: relaxedaaaah.....^__^
Current Music: 69 Pissed-Off Politicians - Round And Round Again
Today has been another fucking interesting day. In a better way this time.


I have.....*drumroll*....a boyfriend. <333 I love you Joe.





In other news (now that the biggest/best/most important is over), I've had a stupid week. Remember Daddy? Well, he left this morning (there is a god), but not before having a huge shouting match with my mother (who got back from grandma's yesterday night), and then another one with me. I don't know why he was yelling at Mother. I think she dropped a plate or something and broke it. He got mad about that, even though it's not his house and they're not his plates. So Mother was crying and being yelled at, Mitchie had left for school early because he couldn't take it, Darie was in her room (crying - who can blame her?), and I was having to sit there and watch my 'parents' fight. Just like fucking old times.

But I've definitely changed since then. It's been a long time - what is it, three, four years since he left? - and I'm not prepared to just sit there and watch him reduce my mother to a whimpering puddle again. So I got really pissed off, stood up and yelled at him to shut up. I said it wasn't his house, that she wasn't his wife anymore, and that he had no right to behave like that towards her. He told me to 'shut up, fag' and carried on fighting with/yelling at my mother. And that was the last straw. If I wasn't so short I would probably have hit him, but as it was I just told him what I thought of him: that he was a disgusting, drunken, ignorant, homophobic arsehole who couldn't even treat his own sons and daughter with any form of tolerance or compassion, and no wonder he can't hold down a job or a woman. We started yelling at each other, and eventually he left - after chucking a few plates on the floor and threatening to 'gouge me a new one unless I shut my faggot mouth'.

And that was that.

Once Mother had calmed down a bit, she asked me what had been going on while she was in London, and I told her all about what my father had been saying and doing. I asked her, please please please not to inflict him on us ever again, and she agreed. So, I don't think I'll be seeing my da again. He's gone back up to Glasgow to stay with his current girlfriend and her fifteen illegitimate children, or however many she's got. So, despite all the rowing and the yelling and the horrible miserable week we spent with him, it was worth it, because he's out of all our lives now for good. Mother promised. And despite how much of a mess she is sometimes, I know my mum wouldn't ever break a promise to us. She actually loves us, unlike Da.


So, yeah. w00t. and all that. You may think it weird that I'm in such a good mood now, after having such a nasty stressful start to the day, but it's actually been a very, very good day. What with Joe and everything. ::blush:: And no more Da. *YES!*

See you later. I'm off to watch a film with Darie and Mitchie. Mother's out for the night and I'm in charge, so basically that means a good time. I rented a few films for us to watch, and I'm going to call for pizza in about ten minutes. Ciaou!